This is a story I largely debated posting but I decided it is a memory I might appreciate later.  Later as in twenty or more years when my children have safely become adults and it is no longer my responsibility to keep them alive.

This is what happened.

I was desperately tired because I had done five hundred loads of laundry.  Ok it was just five, but I was exhausted and being pregnant I put on a movie for the kids and went to lay down.  At 4:00 Matt called and Kelsey and Ethan brought the phone in to me.  I know it was exactly four o' clock because I checked the time on my phone when he called.  I talked to Matt for a minute and then layed there thinking about how it was almost time to start dinner, and I needed to get out some chicken to thaw, and I was dreading getting up because my bones hurt.  A few more minutes passed and I realized that I could not hear the kids.  I looked at the clock.  4:10.  I decided I'd better check on the kids.  I got up, walked out to the living room and called their names.  No answer.  I go to the stairs and call.  No answer.  I look to the front door and saw it was unlocked.

Kelsey knows how to unlock the front door so I ran outside to see if they were on the street.  I could not see them anywhere.  Panic struck.  There is a little park around the corner so I started running in that direction to see if they went there.  I saw a man out mowing a yard.  I stopped and asked if he had seen them.  He said no.  I continued to the park.  When I turned the corner I could see they were not at the park. so I ran around the block as fast as I could, hoping that around every corner I would see them walking.  I did not see them.  I ran home.  When I got in the house I called out their names just in case.  No answer.  I checked the backyard.  No.  I grabbed my cell phone and called Matt.  He said to call the police.  I asked him to do it so I could go get in the van and drive around looking for them.  I grabbed my keys to go out to the garage and looked at the clock.  It was 4:17.

When I went into the garage I found them.  They were in the van playing.  Releif.  Annoyance.  Releif.  Anger.  Releif.  I opened the car door.  Amazingly I didn't yell.  I wasn't really mad at them, I was more angry with myself.  I just told them that I couldn't find them, that I was worried and that they need to tell me where they are going.  I told them that I had called the police because I couldn't find them.--the police!  I called Matt to let him know.  No answer so I texted him.  I made the kids go inside and play in their rooms.  I can't believe I didn't think to check the garage.  In retrospect I remembered the last thing I heard Ethan say as he and Kelsey dashed from my bedroom was, "come on sister, lets go to the airplane station."  I guess to their imaginations that was the garage.

The doorbell rang.  Really, could it be the police already?  It was the lawnmower man.  He asked me if I needed any help.  I told him that I found the kids, but thanks.  It was really nice of him to check.  Texans are good people.  The phone rang.  It was Matt.  He said the 9-1-1 person wanted to talk to me so they were going to call.  I hang up with Matt and the 9-1-1 person calls.  I told them that I found the kids and everything is ok.  So they did not send the police over.

With the kids safely upstairs in their rooms, I get myself a big piece of Amish Friendship Bread (obviously I am an emotional eater) and slump into a chair to let my breathing and blood pressure return to normal.  All I could think about was that Matt was on his way home from work and he was going to be upset and think I am the worst mom, and that I was going to deserve listening to him lecture me on how I need to pay closer attention to what is going on.  He is really protective of the kids, which is a good thing.  Then I get a text.  It is from Matt.  I opened it up and it just said, "I love you."  Then I cried.  And cried.

I never got the bad mom lecture.

I don't know why I felt so much like I should post this experience.  It's like announcing to the world that I am not all with it.  But maybe someone can relate to how such short amount of time can produce such panic.